What is it with negative self-talk? Why do we say things to ourselves that we'd never even think, much less say to other people? Revelation: I don't like my boss very much and I'm self-employed. I have ridiculous expectations of myself. I often wonder why I'm not doing more. When I have a day where I don't really work on the business, I feel lazy and a little depressed that I'm not doing more. My husband tells me, "You have no deadlines, no one to answer to, just relax and enjoy!" If I were honest, this has also been true of myself as a SAHM for the last 16 years. I've always had high expectations of myself. I feel lazy when I'm not "doing". I'm much more patient and gracious with other people than I am with myself. I don't know where this comes from and I'm sure I could use some sort of therapy but I've decided to save the money and just put an end to it!
I'm actually firing myself. I will no longer be in charge of what the expectations are because mine are unrealistic. I will give myself grace to relax and be ok with the pace of growth and change. I will no longer allow the negative self-dialog to continue and I will be much more patient and gentle with myself.
How do I plan on doing this? Gratitude! I am making a list of things I'm grateful for. When the negative dialog starts in my head I will shut it down and be thankful. It will take a little while to change this awful habit but I have SO much to be thankful for and I know that will help!